I don’t give a flying fuck about Derek Jeter retiring

Sorry, but this post is going to be riddled with curse words.

Ya know, if you didn’t guess that by the headline.

But seriously, I don’t give a shit that Derek Jeter is retiring. Not. One. Flying. Fuck.

He’s a great player, one of the better shortstops to ever play the game. He’s not fucking Willie Mays, Babe Ruth and Nolan Ryan all wrapped up in one. He’s not perfect, though so many insufferable fucking fans seem to think he is. He congratulated Dalton Pompey on Pompey’s first Major League hit, what a great fucking guy!

He singled through the hole on the right side cause he’s too god damned old to pull the ball. Fucking superstar.

What’s your favourite Derek Jeter memory? Let’s talk about him for three innings in the fucking Toronto-Seattle game.

For all the fans of Jeter, enjoy it. If he’s your favourite player, great. I had a favourite player retire, just last year in fact. Roy Halladay retired, had a press conference, I spent a day thinking about all the years I watched him take take the mound like a fucking boss, then went on with my life.

But for the love of god, the rest of us don’t need to hear it all. This nonstop, season long love fest with the shortstop who had a good bat and shitty defence (hey, that sounds like another shortstop I know! Are we gonna do this when Reyes calls it quits?) is just too much. I thought I was going to make it through without losing my shit. Yet, here we are so close to the end and I just can’t do it anymore.

A few years ago I came to the realization that it wasn’t Jeter I disliked. It was the combination of everyone loving him far more than he deserved/was normal, with the fact he played for the rival of rivals.

And while there really isn’t anything different now, I don’t dislike Jeter as a person or a player (outside of being a Yankee, anyway), I simply can’t wait for this season to be over so we can maybe get a break from all the Jeter talk.

There are plenty of other great players, who will still be playing and still be great next year. Hell, there are guys playing right now who are better than Jeter ever was. Albert Pujols and Adrian Beltre have collected more WAR, per baseball reference, than Jeter has. And that’s despite playing six and three fewer years in the league, respectively. Chase Utley, Robinson Cano, and Miguel Cabrera will likely all pass Jeter’s WAR in the next couple years.

Then there are the young guys. The McCutchens, Trouts, Harpers, Kershaws and Stantons of the world. Maybe, with the wonderJeter retiring, they’ll start receiving the recognition they deserve.

Congrat, Jeter. Helluva career. Now get the fuck off my TV screen.

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